Saturday, January 7, 2012

duks speech of my pride and arrogance

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First of all, I’m not going to be like everyone else, act surprised and say “I didn’t expect it.” because I did. I have been eyeing it for an eternity. I was born for this.


I do not wish to thank the school, my teachers, fellow students, friends or family as I did this all on my own without their support and often while they tried to undermine me. I thoroughly deserve this and no one, and I mean no one can take it off me.


This award clearly demonstrates that I am superior to all living things at this school and I should be cherished and worshipped like the God that I truly am.


Credit should be to me for I am the one who triumphed in the face of adversity and a uniform policy, which was blatantly constructed to crush the spirit of weaker pupils.


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It was neither my work ethic nor determination that brought me here. It was my undoubted and unbridled academic brilliance, which paved the way for my success. I regularly and deliberately defied the College by sinking piss in the Year 1 Common Room, often before SAC’s and other important tasks or events.


God, fate and destiny played no part in this achievement as it is well known that I posses they power to overcome all three of the former. I adopted the Playboy lifestyle and frequently had one night stands with staff, students and teachers. I do not regret my insatiable urges for sex and I attribute part of this award to the satisfaction of those cravings.


Now I would like to take a moment to admire my own greatness as I m sure you are all in awe of my achievements despite the fact that I was frequently racially abused and vilified by staff students and parents of the school community.


The fact that I attend Macleod College has tarnished my reputation immensely and therefore after tonight my barristers will be instructed to proceed with legal action against the school claiming compensation and damage for my fall from the Melbourne’s social elite.


I do not feel I owe the school in anyway as a matter of fact it is quite the opposite as the school should be grateful that a student of my caliber has brought it to its dizzy heights it enjoys nowadays.


In closing I like to wish all those young kids out there we will be trying to emulate me good luck because they will need it as they will never ever achieve half of what I have achieved.





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