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be disgraceful to criticize or speak against her husband in any way. All her life she had been told that her opinions do not count. You may ask, Why doesnt Winnie fight to protect her rights from being obviously violated by Wen Fu? The answer is that she has never heard of individual rights of women that are actually worth anything; it is utterly unheard of in Confucianism. Confucianism also hampered Winnies attempts at running away. Since women are regarded as inferior and totally dependent on others in Confucianist society, there was no way a woman could make it on her own in the world unless she became a servant, which definitely would not help Winnies plan. The reason she put off running away so often was because there was no way she could survive on her own, not (ironically) without her husband. Only when she met Jimmy Louie for the second time in Shanghai did Winnie have any hope of escaping her horrible marriage.
Besides describing a mother-daughter relationship and bashing Confucianism, The Kitchen Gods Wife is also about human qualities, emotions, and even vices. This book is also about love, betrayal, injustice, hope, friendship, and loyalty. Love existed in Winnies relationships with those closest to her. She dearly loved her children, Yiku and Danru, and they were sources of joy and hope--sometimes, they were all that kept her from giving up and ending the misery for good. After Danru died, Winnie knew that she could not bear to have anymore children and subject them to the cruel attentions of Wen Fu, so she got an abortion every time she got pregnant, not out of convenience, but out of love. She explains to Pearl, I cried to myself, this is a sin--to give a baby such a bad life! Poor Danru. He trusted me. So I let those other babies die. In my heart, I was being kind.
Winnie and Helen shared a strange friendship. As Winnie says, She [Hulan] is not someone I chose as my friend. Sometimes I do not even enjoy her company. I do not agree with her opinions. I do not admire her character. And yet we are closer perhaps than sisters, related by fate, joined by debts. I have kept her secrets. She has kept mine. And we have a kind of loyalty that has no name in this country. She and Helen became friends purely through circumstance, but their friendship has endured because they know each others secrets, and are bound by this to be loyal to each other. So naturally, Winnie felt betrayed when Helen said that she wanted to tell Pearl Winnies darkest secrets. Winnie also felt betrayed when Helen helped Wen Fu find her when Winnie first attempted to run away.
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